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  • NSFW: My First Sex Party

    “Are you here all by yourself? Well, you soon won’t be”  My first erotic story, written when I was 19 or 20, was about a woman who goes to a sex party for the first time, by herself, to live her greatest fantasies. And here I am, going to a sex party for the first […]

  • The Good, The Bad, and The Smug

    I don’t fancy the guy who’s giving me head. The head is OK, the guy is OK, but I’m lying here, thighs spread, and my mind is gently drifting away. I’m not questioning why I don’t fancy him, there’s no panic or insecurity; I’m calm in my indifference. It’s like coming down in the morning […]

  • Great Aural

    The other night, a guy made me soaking wet by imitating the Barnsley accent of his girlfriend. Someone growling deeply into my ear as they fuck me from behind causes delicious palpitations. I am far, far more likely to go on a date with you if you’re from Manchester or Glasgow than the Home Counties. […]

  • Bombshell

    White blonde. Each short pigtail is puffy, like a dandelion clock ready to float away. A confident sideways grin; a “yeah, try it then” grin. A tiny but fearless imp in a pinafore dress. This is me on my first day of school, aged 4 and a half.  Sandy blonde. The severity of the bob […]

  • Sleepless in Northamptonshire

    Yesterday I was told that I could die everytime I fall asleep.  I’m trying not to catastrophize, our innate fragility means we could all die at any moment, however it hits differently when you’re shown a dozen colourful little graphs that illustrate exactly how and why you’ll expire. There wasn’t a graph for when, the […]

  • The power of blowjobs

    My first time, we’d just been to McDonalds and his dick tasted like strawberry milkshake. It was actually my first time in a McDonalds too; what a day.  I don’t remember how long it lasted, what it felt like, or even if he came or not (like that’s important); but the sight of the pink […]

  • Don’t message him.

    I’ve typed out a message 5 times and deleted it 5 times. I’m praying that he’s not looking at our message thread at this very moment and witnessing my discipline shatter in real time; typing, not typing, typing, not typing. It’d be like watching my mum say good morning.  I’m trying to distract myself: a […]

  • A letter to the guy who dumped me for being fat

    Hello there, I hope you’re well! I’m writing this to prevent me from screaming it down the phone at you. So firstly, you’re welcome. Secondly, fuck you.  … On our first date there was a moment; one of those little moments that people like me write about in fiction about love and romance and perfect, […]